Funeral For My Father on August 4th, 2005.

Thanks for all the emails, and comments and so on. Mom- thanks. Uncle Bob- thanks. Jinger - thanks. Dusty - wow, great hearing from you - thanks. Eric and Toji - great hearing from you as well, and I appreciate your comments. Jinger & Dusty - now I have an idea of what it was like for both of you when we were about 25 years younger.

25 years. Wow.

Vlade, if you can make the funeral, please do.

I do have some pictures of trivial things that one does to get someone cremated in Trinidad and Tobago - I'll post that when I have more time. Tomorrow, hopefully. It's a strange process which I'll critique.

A quick writeup of the story so far:

Pop died in his sleep, apparently from heart complications. The truth be told, he had his emergency quadruple bypass on September 9th, 1995 - and most people who have such surgery under such conditions gain 10 years only. He almost made it.

10 years. I can't believe it had been 10 years.

He had been ill for a few weeks. He didn't want to go to the hospitals; he even told one person close to him that he didn't want the test results because he knew what they would say: That he didn't have long to live. In fact, he specified September. His cousin and a close friend found it odd that he wasn't answering the phone or the doorbell, and called Manu who had the key I left him. So they found him dead. Time of death is indeterminate, but the legal death was at 8:15 a.m. on the 2nd of August, 2005. He was 59 years old, having just turned 59 on the 11th of June.

I viewed his body on Wednesday - August 3rd, 2005 - and he looked like he was sleeping. He went peacefully. Seeing him dead was something I worried about, but it was easier seeing that he looked like he was sleeping. I almost expected him to open an eye and say one of his cliche phrases that are pretty well known within the family. But he didn't. I'd already gone through the denial phase when I got the message, and a few minutes later I was past it. That was alarming in it's own way, a very primal reaction. But when I viewed his body, I had already accepted that he was, in fact, dead. What it means, however, is something I'm still figuring out.

My cousin and I spent the majority of the morning running around, getting signatures and little pieces of paper to take to other places to get signatures and generate other little pieces of paper - something I will write of in more detail later - and these all cumulated in a Death Certificate, and Permission To Cremate. All the people involved were pretty nice, but the system is in desperate need of refinement.

Of course, the instructions from my father were quite simple: "When I die, burn me quickly and without ceremony". That's actually a tough thing to do, at least in T&T.

And while I will honor his wishes, I also have to honor the wishes of others. He didn't want a ceremony. But his brother(s) want a Hindu ceremony. So they are doing that, and I am doing what he wants. I don't have the right to take things from others, and if they are happier if he has some prayers done, then so be it. It's a comfort to the living. Let the living be comforted. It's up in the air who will do what, but... I am the one, in the end, who will light the pyre. So right now I'm a bit torn between the two things. The Hindu rites require some things, and so on and so forth. It becomes rather twisted. So we'll have to find a balance and live with it.

The Wake tonight went well. Not too large of a crowd, but it was full of energy and kept me busy while letting people exchange stories. The cheese was really good. I picked it myself. I hate going to Wakes where there is little or no selection.

Am I ready? Yeah, I think so. Of course, this creates a new part of my life where I have to take over some things - the lawyers are working on that - and it requires some other things. Most of all, it requires me to return to Trinidad and Tobago for a more extended period of time. We'll see how that goes. I also have to continue working on the Medical System - Medical And Health Information Network (MAHIN). Watch closely as I do both at the same time... (and I'll do it).

A lot of people have crawled out of the woodwork - making my life easier in many instances. Some of them have helped put my relationship with my father in perspective. Some of them have helped smooth over the rougher parts.

I'll write more when things settle down. That should happen after the funeral tomorrow. I think.