4,508,000+ Connections?

Perhaps because what I do tends to be as diverse as the DNA found on the planet, I don't really fit too awfully well on LinkedIn. If there is one thing I cannot do, it is to define what I do in a subset of some logic that a social networking site is programmed for. If you held my feet to the fire, I would admit to being tenuously linked somehow to the human race. Call me a chimpanzee. I'd probably think of that as a step up from homo sapien. In my formative years, a few people made the mistake of telling me that I could do whatever I wanted. And so I have. And that doesn't fit into any career rut other than 'Writer' or 'Consultant', both of which are accepted forms of addressing anyone from street bums or the real menaces, alleged experts.

I'm a beach bum. But I don't get to the beach as often as I would like.

All of that being said, I got a message today from someone who wanted to connect on LinkedIn. I have no idea who the person is, but the word 'Recruiter' leaps out at me. And, the mandatory part of the message: "Please don't say that you don't know me..."

BAM. I don't know you. There isn't even a picture of you around so I can see a picture of someone I don't know. Why do you want to know me? Because I might have a skillset that can be pawned off to a company looking for a pawn? No, no, that won't work. I did my time in the intellectual coal mines of corporate America. I'm not better, but I've been spoiled by 8 years of doing my own thing - and somehow managing to survive and get ahead.

So then I look off to the left, and I see that through my 210 connections on LinkedIn, I have a larger network of 4,508,000+ people. If every one of them sent me a dollar, I'd have a small fortune. If we had a party, we'd have to rent a modestly sized country. But really - what does that mean? I'm pretty sure that spouting that number off won't get a woman in bed with me (unless she's a recruiter, but I did that before. Long story).

Really - what does it mean to have such a large extended network? Will they come down and help me plant some corn? Unlikely. Sure, on one hand it might be cool to be connected to everyone from the Dalai Lama to all of Genghis Khan's illegitimate descendants, but what is the point?

Tell me how many people will send me money or something. That would mean something. Being connected with no context makes... no sense.

I tell you what I want to know: how many women out there would put up with my crap. I'm betting that number is a heck of a lot closer to zero. It may even be negative.