Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
-- George Carlin
Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
-- George Carlin
Our nation was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free... So, we kept our black African people, in order to fight and kill the white English people, so we could move west and steal the land from the red Indian people, and then move south and steal the land from the brown Mexican people, which would give us a place to take off and bomb the yellow Japanese people! You know what the motto for this country oughtta be? "YOU GIVE US A COLOR, AND WE`LL WIPE IT OUT!"
-- George Carlin
Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
-- George Carlin
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof, where nobody can retrieve it.
-- George Carlin
Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here.
-- George Carlin
What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
-- George Carlin
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