Blackadder (TV)
Submitted by Taran on Thu, 04/13/2006 - 07:41
[Dr. Samuel Johnson presents his comprehensive English dictionary to the Prince Regent.]
Johnson: This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language!
Prince George: Hmmm.
Blackadder: Every single one, sir?
Johnson: Every single word, sir!
Blackadder: Oh. Well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic
-- Blackadder
Prince Edmund: So let me get this straight. You're saying that something which you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else which you have never seen?
-- Blackadder
Prince Edmund: Scotsmen are barbarians! Half of them don't even speak English!
Percy: Well, what do they speak?
Prince Edmund: Oh, I don't know. It's all Greek to me!
Percy: They speak Greek?
Prince Edmund: No, I mean it SOUNDS like Greek.
Percy: Well, if it sounds like Greek, it probably IS Greek.
Prince Edmund: It's not Greek!
Percy: But it sounds LIKE Greek..."What's not Greek, but sounds like Greek?" Hm, that's a good one, my lord!
Prince Edmund: Look, it's not meant to be a BRAIN-TEASER, Percy! I'm simply trying to tell you that I cannot understand a blind word they're saying.
Percy: Well, no wonder, my lord. You never learned Greek, of course.
-- Blackadder
Blackadder: Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. Contemptible. Worth a try.
-- Blackadder
Captain Blackadder: Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?
-- Blackadder
Captain Blackadder: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war two great super-armies developed. Us, the Russians and the French on one side, Germany and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea being that each army would act as the other's deterrent. That way, there could never be a war.
Private Baldrick: Except, this is sort of a war, isn't it?
Captain Blackadder: That's right. There was one tiny flaw in the plan.
Lieutenant George: O, what was that?
Captain Blackadder: It was bollocks.
-- Blackadder
King: Wessex: take 10,000 men and pillage Geneva.
Lord Chiswick: But the Swiss are our allies, my lord.
King: Oh, yes. Well, get them to dress up as Germans.
-- Blackadder
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