Anonymous (Anonymous)

If you can't win, make the fellow ahead of you break the record.
-- Anonymous

The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at least until we've finished building it.
-- Anonymous

Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous

We trained very hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn in this life that we tend to meet any situation by reorganizing. And a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
-- Anonymous

Anything or anyone that influences the diameter of your knowledge further controls the circumference of your individual activity.
-- Anonymous

Ars est celare artem.

(Art is to hide art)
-- Anonymous

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.
-- Anonymous

We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
-- Anonymous

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
-- Anonymous

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
-- Anonymous

When you give a lesson in anger to a creature or a person, don't be surprised if they learn the lesson.
-- Anonymous

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
-- Anonymous

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
-- Anonymous

Politicians, like diapers, have to be changed frequently
-- Anonymous

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangled.
-- Anonymous

How does a project get to be one year late?

...One day at a time...
-- Anonymous

The difference between insane asylums and our schools is that in the insane asylum you have to show some improvement before you can get out
-- Anonymous

All you need to start an insane asylum is an empty room and the right type of people.
-- Anonymous

We the unwilling, working for the ungrateful, are doing the impossible.We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.


-- Anonymous

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground.
-- Anonymous

Once you have glimpsed the world as it might be, it is impossible to live anymore complacent in the world as it is.
-- Anonymous

Responsibility does not only lie with the leaders of our countries or with those who have been appointed or elected to do a particular job. It lies with each of us individually. Peace, for example, starts within each one of us. When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us.
-- Anonymous

A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected - a well planned project only twice as long as expected.
-- Anonymous

A change freeze is like the abominable snowman: it is a myth and would anyway melt when heat is applied.
-- Anonymous

A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.
-- Anonymous

A minute saved at the start is just as effective as one saved at the end.
-- Anonymous

A problem shared is a buck passed.
-- Anonymous

A project ain't over until the fat cheque is cashed.
-- Anonymous

A project gets a year late one day at a time.
-- Anonymous

A project is one small step for the project sponsor, one giant leap for the project manager.
-- Anonymous

A two year project will take three years, a three year project will never finish
-- Anonymous

A user is somebody who tells you what they want the day you give them what they asked for.
-- Anonymous

A user will tell you anything you ask about, but nothing more.
-- Anonymous

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
-- Anonymous

Activity is not achievement.
-- Anonymous

All project managers face problems on Monday mornings - good project managers are working on next Monday's problems.
-- Anonymous

Any project can be estimated accurately (once it's completed).
-- Anonymous

Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
-- Anonymous

At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.
-- Anonymous

Estimators do it in groups - bottom up and top down.
-- Anonymous

Everyone asks for a strong project manager - when they get him they don't want him.
-- Anonymous

Fast - cheap - good: you can have any two.
-- Anonymous

Feather and down are padding - changes and contingencies will be real events.
-- Anonymous

Finely chopped cabbage in mayonnaise - Coleslaw.
-- Anonymous

For a project manager overruns are as certain as death and taxes.
-- Anonymous

Furious activity does not necessarily equate to progress and is no substitute for understanding.
-- Anonymous

Good control reveals problems early - which only means you'll have longer to worry about them.
-- Anonymous

Good estimators aren't modest: if it's huge they say so.
-- Anonymous

Good project management is not so much knowing what to do and when, as knowing what excuses to give and when.
-- Anonymous

Good project managers admit mistakes: that's why you so rarely meet a good project manager.
-- Anonymous

Good project managers know when not to manage a project.
-- Anonymous

I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
-- Anonymous

If an IT project works the first time, it is wrong.
-- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
-- Anonymous

If everything is going exactly to plan, something somewhere is going massively wrong.
-- Anonymous

If it can't possibly go wrong, it will - O'Malley's corollary to Murphy's law.
-- Anonymous

If it can go wrong it will - Murphy's law.
-- Anonymous

If it happens once it's ignorance, if it happens twice it's neglect, if it happens three times it's policy.
-- Anonymous

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck.
-- Anonymous

If it wasn't for the 'last minute', nothing would get done.
-- Anonymous

If project content is allowed to change freely the rate of change will exceed the rate of progress.
-- Anonymous

If there is a 50% chance of something going wrong then 9 times out of 10 it will.
-- Anonymous

If there is anything to do, do it!
-- Anonymous

If there were no problem people there'd be no need for people who solve problems.
-- Anonymous

If you're 6 months late on a milestone due next week but really believe you can make it, you're a project manager.
-- Anonymous

If you can interpret project status data in several different ways, only the most painful interpretation will be correct.
-- Anonymous

If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven't understood the plan.
-- Anonymous

If you don't attack the risks, the risks will attack you.
-- Anonymous

If you don't know how to do a task, start it, then ten people who know less than you will tell you how to do it.
-- Anonymous

If you don't plan, it doesn't work. If you do plan, it doesn't work either. Why plan!
-- Anonymous

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
-- Anonymous

If you don
-- Anonymous

If you fail to plan you are planning to fail.
-- Anonymous

If you have time to do it over again, you'll never get away with doing it right the first time.
-- Anonymous

It's not the hours that count, it's what you do in those hours.
-- Anonymous

It takes one woman nine months to have a baby. It cannot be done in one month by impregnating nine women (although it is more fun trying).
-- Anonymous

It will go wrong in the worst possible way - Sod's law.
-- Anonymous

Managing IT people is like herding cats.
-- Anonymous

Metrics are learned men's excuses.
-- Anonymous

Murphy, O'Malley, Sod and Parkinson are alive and well - and working on your project.
-- Anonymous

Never underestimate the ability of senior management to buy a bad idea and fail to buy a good idea.
-- Anonymous

No plan ever survived contact with the enemy.
-- Anonymous

No project has ever finished on time, within budget, to requirement - yours won't be the first to.
-- Anonymous

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
-- Anonymous

Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one.
-- Anonymous

Overtime is a figment of the na
-- Anonymous

People under pressure do not think faster.
-- Anonymous

Planning is an unnatural process, doing something is much more fun.
-- Anonymous

Planning without action is futile, action without planning is fatal.
-- Anonymous

Powerful project managers don't solve problems, they get rid of them.
-- Anonymous

Projects happen in two ways: a) Planned and then executed or b) Executed, stopped, planned and then executed.
-- Anonymous

Quantitative project management is for predicting cost and schedule overruns well in advance.
-- Anonymous

Some projects finish on time in spite of project management best practices.
-- Anonymous

Some things that don't count are counted, many things that count aren't counted.
-- Anonymous

The bitterness of poor quality last long after the sweetness of making a date is forgotten.
-- Anonymous

The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, only the promise is remembered.
-- Anonymous

The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time the last 10% takes the other 90%.
-- Anonymous

The first myth of management is that it exists.
-- Anonymous

The more desperate the situation the more optimistic the situatee.
-- Anonymous

The more ridiculous the deadline the more money will be wasted trying to meet it.
-- Anonymous

The more you plan the luckier you get.
-- Anonymous

The most successful project managers have perfected the skill of being comfortable being uncomfortable.
-- Anonymous

The most valuable and least used phrase in a project manager's vocabulary is I don't know.
-- Anonymous

The most valuable and least used word in a project manager's vocabulary is NO.
-- Anonymous

The nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.
-- Anonymous

The person who says it will take the longest and cost the most is the only one with a clue how to do the job.
-- Anonymous

The project would not have been started if the truth had been told about the cost and timescale.
-- Anonymous

The same work under the same conditions will be estimated differently by ten different estimators or by one estimator at ten different times.
-- Anonymous

The sooner you begin coding the later you finish.
-- Anonymous

The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
-- Anonymous

There's never enough time to do it right first time but there's always enough time to go back and do it again.
-- Anonymous

There are no good project managers - only lucky ones.
-- Anonymous

There is no such thing as scope creep, only scope gallop.
-- Anonymous

There is such a thing as an unrealistic timescale.
-- Anonymous

To estimate a project, work out how long it would take one person to do it then multiply that by the number of people on the project.
-- Anonymous

Too few people on a project can't solve the problems - too many create more problems than they solve.
-- Anonymous

Warning: dates in the calendar are closer than you think.
-- Anonymous

What is not on paper has not been said.
-- Anonymous

What you don't know hurts you.
-- Anonymous

When all's said and done a lot more is said than done.
-- Anonymous

When the weight of the project paperwork equals the weight of the project itself, the project can be considered complete.
-- Anonymous

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion - Parkinson's law.
-- Anonymous

You can build a reputation on what you're going to do.
-- Anonymous

You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it.
-- Anonymous

If you are ashamed to stand by your colors, you had better seek another flag.
-- Anonymous

Don't think you're on the right road just because it
-- Anonymous

Before you can break out of prison, you must first realize you're locked up.
-- Anonymous

If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got.
-- Anonymous

The fastest draw is when the sword never leaves the scabbard,

The strongest way to block, is never to provoke a blow,

And the cleanest cut is the one withheld.
-- Anonymous

Advertisers constantly invent cures to which there is no disease.
-- Anonymous

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in.
-- Anonymous

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Anonymous

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
-- Anonymous

I have my own little world, but it's okay - they know me here.
-- Anonymous

Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO (or Linux) is the answer.


-- Anonymous

We are Microsoft. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.


-- Anonymous

Once you have glimpsed the world as it might be, it is impossible to live anymore complacent in the world as it is.
-- Anonymous

If you live your dreams, you never have to wake up.
-- Anonymous

Do not repair another man's fence until you have seen to your own.
-- Anonymous

If our brains were simple enough to be understood; we'd be so simple that we couldn't.
-- Anonymous

If you are keeping your head while others around you are losing theirs, perhaps you've misunderstood the whole situation.
-- Anonymous

So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, to arrive, safely, at death.
-- Anonymous

A terrorist is someone with a bomb, but without an air force.
-- Anonymous

Actions speak louder than words, but isn't writing an action?
-- Anonymous

Any program that runs right is obsolete.
-- Anonymous

Anyone who thinks this is black and white has not read up on the subject.
-- Anonymous

Anything devoid of change is a figment of ones imagination, and therefore subject to be forgotten.
-- Anonymous

At the end of the game, the pawn and the king go back in the same box.
-- Anonymous

Be not afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still
-- Anonymous

Columbus was lost.
-- Anonymous

Consulting: If you're not part of the solution, there's money to be made by prolonging the problem.
-- Anonymous

Decisions are made by those who show up.
-- Anonymous

Egotist, n. Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
-- Anonymous

For the common man can do nothing: The fact he undertakes the task makes him uncommon.
-- Anonymous

Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important.
-- Anonymous

I code, therefore I am.
-- Anonymous

I have an idea! .... Oh, wait...no, that was just a tumor.
-- Anonymous

If you can't appreciate it, you don't deserve it.
-- Anonymous

In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
-- Anonymous

It is not ignorance that is the problem, but the illusion of knowledge.
-- Anonymous

Karma spares no one.
-- Anonymous

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate.
-- Anonymous

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living and the other helps you make a life.
-- Anonymous

Reality is where Illusion is at it's strongest.
-- Anonymous

Right or Wrong is always dependent on the context.
-- Anonymous

The best defense against logic is ignorance.
-- Anonymous

The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
-- Anonymous

The death of three civilians and a dog causes uproar and sadness. The death of 20,000 soldiers causes dissatisfaction.
-- Anonymous

The goal of science is to build better mousetraps, the goal of nature is to build better mice.
-- Anonymous

The things you regret the most are the risks you didnt take.
-- Anonymous

The vision of a champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching.
-- Anonymous

Think of the Web as a big bathroom wall. And everyone has a marker.
-- Anonymous

Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order.
-- Anonymous

Whenever anyone tells me "Life is hard," I say, "Compared to what?"
-- Anonymous

Where patience fails, force prevails.
-- Anonymous

You can
-- Anonymous

Use of advanced messaging technology does not imply an endorsement of western industrial civilization.
-- Anonymous

"How many of your immediate family have been kidnapped by aliens more than once?"

"None."

"Good, just once each. That means the new system is working..."
-- Anonymous

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot-dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.

The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."
-- Anonymous

If you aren't part of the solution then you are part of the precipitate.
-- Anonymous

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
-- Anonymous

Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.
-- Anonymous

One of the world's greatest magicians, a past master at the art of prestidigitation and an expert on card tricks was giving a lecture.

After the lecture a young and very enthusiastic amateur came up and talked to the master. He told him how honored he was to meet the older magician.

Trying to impress the great man with his standing even though just an amateur, he bragged that he knew 100 card tricks. How many tricks, the amateur asked, did the master know?

"Oh, about seven," answered the master.

The difference is that the amateur did the same trick each time and thought it was different, the master knew there was no difference.
-- Anonymous

"Buddha sat down before a wall. When he stood up he was enlightenment embodied."

"You dare to compare yourself to the Buddha?"

"No. A wall."
-- Anonymous

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
I'm not interested in your dopey religious cult.

-- Anonymous

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!
Stand aside plebians! I am on imperial business.

-- Anonymous

Stultus est sicut stultus facit.
Stupid is as stupid does.

-- Anonymous

Non plaudite. Modo pecuniam jacite
Don't applaud. Just throw money.

-- Anonymous

Real Programmers arrive at work in time for lunch.
-- Anonymous

Real Programmers never work 9 to 5. If they are around at 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
-- Anonymous

Who wants to be known for butt-prints in the sands of time?
-- Anonymous

The point is that money enables exchange in a society in which trust is low or absent, exchange between strangers. It is a form of balanced exchange, which requires an immediate return for anything given. In contrast, in a society with high trust, generalised exchange is possible, in which there is ongoing give and take, and an assumption of long term, unmeasured balance, but no immediate return on a transaction.
-- Anonymous

Its the Internet. The men are men, the women are men, and the children are federal agents.
-- Anonymous


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