Understanding Introverts

Jonathan Ali pointed to the article, 'Caring for Your Introvert' - which has some pretty good information in it. Consider:

D o you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?...

Sound familiar?

It does have some insight into extroverts, which I am always trying to figure out:

...Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."...

True. But I'll modify it. Extroverted people seem too busy trying to figure out what I think or feel to show me what they think or feel. For fun sometimes, I'll put on a straight face and wait until the extrovert feels really uncomfortable, and then keep them there by dosing them with small amounts of feedback. It's fun when you catch an extrovert alone, and impossible when there are two or more extroverts around. Extroverts are dangerous in large groups. They do silly things. And they constantly want attention, demand attention...

...Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping...

Extroverts don't care. That's what I've come up with. If they can't get anything from you, they want nothing to do with you or they want to 'fix' you. Huh? Often, when I get a far away look in my eye... I may be daydreaming of having an automatic tranquilizer gun, with a laser sight and a license to sedate.

...As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)...

I hate repeating myself. This is one of the main reasons that I write. If I already wrote about something, I am unlikely to be interested in writing about it again. It's done. If you were shouting over me when I was talking, you miss it - and that's it. If I was telling you to watch out for the car and you were too busy doing an extroverted dance, when the car slams into you I don't say 'Thank God!' - I say, 'bless Darwin for giving me the tools to understand'.

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

Yeah, I'd take part in an Introvert Rights Movement. But if it means dealing with extroverts for extended periods of time, don't expect me to be too active.

At least on the internet, we introverts get a word in now and then.