An Actual Phone Conversation.

Italicized is mine...

Good morning, may I help you?

Hi, is Mahin [My late father] there?

No, he's not here right now, may I take a message?

Who is this?

No, no, no. You see, you called here. That means you get to announce yourself. It's in the book.

The book?

Yes, the Book.

Which book?

The Phone Book.

The phone book?

Yes.

It eh have nuttin in de phone book about dat.

Did you read the phone book?

No...

You mean you got a FREE book from TSTT and you didn't read it?!

No...

It's under etiquette.

What's under etiquette?

If you look under 'etiquette', you'll see you're supposed to announce yourself when you call someone. It's in bold letters in that section, I'm surprised you missed it.

It's in the new phone book? I eh get de new one as yet.

Yes, in the new one.

But it eh in de 2004 book!

Oh. Well, what yuh go say? TSTT screw up again...

It in de new book, yuh say?

Yes, it is.

I go get dat one dis week. TSTT does really does cause problems, you know...

Yes, I know. Did you know it's 4 a.m.?

Yes, but I need to talk to Mahin...

What about?

We need to get something fixed.

Who is we?

[Tells me, finally, who it is]

Oh. Well, I'm in charge of accounts and you still owe for the electrical work on the building done in 2004. Are you ready to settle the balance?

Oh... well, de invoice must have gotten lost... how much we have for him?

I don't know exactly, but I believe it's somewhere around $20,000 [Trinidad and Tobago dollars].

We can't pay dat!

Well, then you shouldn't be calling dead people at 4 a.m. and asking them to work when you can't read a phone book and you can't settle your previous bills.

You real rude, boy. You is de son?

Who's son?

Mahin son.

Yes.

I go tell him you rude.

Good. But make sure you read the phone book.

I go look for dat ting in de blasted phone book! And I go call back when he reach back! When he go be back?

I'm honestly not sure. By the Hindu calendar, you should figure about June-July time frame.

He out of de country?

Yes, he's on a permanent vacation.

He retired?

Yes, he's retired. That means when people call him, he charges double.

Oh. You could fix equipment?

Yes.

You could come fix dis ting?

Are you going to settle that last bill?

Boy, yuh fadder eh take dat on...

Right. But he's not here.

Yuh can't collect your fadder bills.

Then I'm not tied to his clients, am I?

No...

Well, ok. It's 4:05 a.m. on Sunday morning.

But, boy, I have a problem!

What's your home phone number? I'll call and tell you my problems sometime.

[He gives me the number]

What time do you get up?

4...

OK, well let me call him and I'll call you before I go to bed.

OK.
[Won't he be surprised when he gets a phone call at 2 a.m on Monday morning...]