An Open Letter To Michelle Malkin from Trinidad and Tobago

Dear Michelle,

I have noted that you mention Trinidad and Tobago a lot in your writing rhetoric, and that you portray it as a place where we're all gang-members. I know that you are read a lot. You're presently 10th most popular blogs. That's not your fault, you simply feed the masses what they wish to link to and revel in it like Howard Stern. That's good business, I suppose. I imagine it's profitable. It keeps Faux News in business.
I saw your name again when I got a referral to my site here. Thank you for the link, it's flattering to be used as a resource to prop up your writing rhetoric. I mean, Wow. Michelle Malkin linking to some little website from Trinidad and Tobago. Using it to prop up the rhetoric for closing the gates of immigration or at least making things more difficult. That's the sort of reporting that makes Faux News what it is, and we're all quite taken with you. I first came across your ideas delusions when there was the bombing in Trinidad, and you did that Smoke and Mirror redirect. I did email you on that, and you never acknowledged it. Ahh well, I know you get lots of hate mail. What's a poor reporter to do? You'll be happy to know that the bombings did stop, and that they were less effective than your ascorbic view of Trinidad and Tobago- which is sort of like George W. Bush; someone you might want to drink with, but not something you should have a long term relationship with. It's unhealthy.

You see, based on the referral and my functional memory, I decided to do some research. Your name appears with Trinidad and Tobago 15,400 times. I hear at 20,000, you get a free trip or something - that's what some of the 'gangs' are saying on the street corners, anyway. I hear that they are really big fans of yours, appreciate your work, and even have pictures of you in their 'cribs'. They're really happy to have a fan like you, I hear, and may spring for a ticket for you to come down, or perhaps get some obeah done for you. Quite a following you have, and I'm sure that they will be loyal to you as much as they are loyal to each other. You're sort of like a 'gang groupie', apparently. Sensational!

But here's the thing. Those people you're writing about - well, I hate to ruin your writing rhetoric with actual facts, so I'll whisper into your eyeball:

_{They are a minority, and the power they have is the power you give them.}

Now, as an American myself (I'm a dual citizen), I understand what you mean by the borders being problems. In fact, a lot of people outside the United States agree, too - they think no Americans should be let out, and nobody else should be let in. Sort of like what Japan did. You should know, you're part Asian - yes, you're American, we can't help but notice that you prefer being a tumbleweed and not growing instead of a tree with roots. That's OK, I'll explain with a link: Tokugawa shogunate. The Seclusion Laws, circa 1635. Yes, I know your roots are not Japanese - Filipino, I believe. The U.S. has done such wonderful things in the Phillipines, I understand. Still, it's an interesting parallel to the present Bush Administration. You may not like your roots and keep trying to kill dye them away, but... you know... whether you like it or not, history is pretty good at revealing the future. It also makes the future less scarey, which I think would help you.

It does bother me that you are mentioned on the Drudge Report since the site is seen as a place to hide from pretentious speculation, but I'll get over it. We all will. In time, we'll all get over your writing - but all things with time.

Honestly, though, I'm worried about you.

You see, I know what it's like to be disenfranchised, to be ashamed of who you are. I've done that myself, and come through the experience a better person. Under the heavy plate armor that guides your pen, I'm certain that you bear no ill will to anyone. There is good in you, I'm sure, but you have to be comfortable with that good and let it out. Talk about the good things as well, like the Soca Warriors from Trinidad and Tobago qualifying for the World Cup. There are enough problems in this country and others, but you can't keep blaming other countries for the problems of the United States. It's time to grow up. It's going to be OK, it's an awkward time in your intellectual life and we truly understand. It's scarey, but when you get past your fears you'll find that there's a big world that your fears have cut you off from.

I'm sure somewhere, someone loves you. But Michelle, you make it difficult with your writing of foreign countries. Maybe you don't realize that other people actually have internet access, despite the United States - at least for now. Maybe that will be the next thing you write a book about. How terrorists are using the internet to do naughty things, so the answer is to shut the internet down. But you won't do that, will you? Don't feel bad. Narcissus had the same problem.

You have the right to say whatever you wish, Michelle. That's Freedom of speech. But what you see in the mirror, and the smoke and mirror weblogs... well, maybe that's not what we see. I hope you get acquainted with that idea, since quite a few of us recognize that the Cold War is over, globalization is here, and that the people you are talking about are probably talking about you. The kind thoughts you have about them, they probably have about you. When you, a person of your stature, write such negative things, well... it comes across as propaganda. Surely that's not what you intend.

Even in small countries like Trinidad and Tobago. Thanks for the opportunity to share some rhetoric with you; it's a pleasant and healthy exercise in my Freedom of Speech. I'm going to go into my backyard now, dodge like Johnny Dangerously going to work, pick a mango off of my mango tree and hazard my way back so I can eat it. I have to be careful. I hear from one of your fans that the squirrel has an Uzi. I keep the dustbin outside, though, since your post on Al Quaeda bombings in Trinidad has me extra careful - and the bombings were all garbage related.

Remember your fans! Though in future, I would hope you would pick your fans more carefully.

Sincerely,

Taran Rampersad
Non-Gang-Related-Person, Trinbagonian, American, and with roots so mixed that there is no dye to solve it.

Photo at top courtesy Unprose, who retains copyright (and meanwhile I beg forgiveness, but it fits so well...).