You hear everyone singing the same song about global warming. And when people aren't singing about that, they're singing about war and atrocities.
OK. I'll start my own bandwagon out of sheer boredom. I was standing around in the yard wondering what benefits leaking water mains all over San Fernando, Trinidad and Tobago had. Then I thought of the SR-71, which leaks fuel all over until it hits a certain speed. Thus, to the tune of This Ain't a Scene, It's An Arms Race, I came up with an odd mix. Listen in. It starts with this:
I am an arms dealer.
Fitting you with weapons in the form of words
And don't really care, which side wins
As long as the room keeps singing
That's just the business I'm in...
OK. So - we have these jets flying around all over the world with all these heavy missiles, depleted uranium, etc. They aren't actually shooting these things most of the time, so it is pretty inefficient. Lots of fuel burned all in the name of 'just in case'. So - let's make these things more energy efficient. Get rid of the heavy stuff, the armor, everything. As a matter of fact, the whole fighter jet thing is a real waste of valuable energy on the planet, and probably helps contribute to global warming, noise pollution, and should the missiles or depleted uranium be fired, all sorts of nasty side effects occur.
Tanks! Those gas guzzlers ride around, do nothing really except sit there and look impressive. Not good. No, let's mount cannons on Tesla Roadsters. It is still an energy drain, but wow - imagine the punch in the arm for military recruiting! And arrays of solar panels, wind generators and hydroelectric power could handle charging the things.
Then we need to work out the whole gunpowder thing. Really bad idea, all that stuff entering the atmosphere with every bullet. Like hammering nails through the ozone layer with an Uzi. So, guns should be outlawed. Everyone will be required to either use crossbows, longbows, shortbows, slings or slingshots. But no, people could still be hurt. So the answer is Paintball! Biodegradable paint markers. But then again, real bullets do kill humans that use electricity. Quite a dilemma.
No wonder people haven't figured out that both might be related. It would be rather inconvenient, wouldn't it? I mean - who really is burning most of the fossil fuels right now? Maybe it is the SUV Moms. But I wager that quite a bit of fuel is being burned at undisclosed locations in the Middle East...
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